COPENHAGEN--Anyone know the difference between Santa's industrious elves and the team of apologists who work for constantly troubled world lightweight champion Edwin Valero?
That's easy, actually. Santa's Little Helpers only have bust their hump in the Christmas season while Valero's Excuse Makers are on 7/24/365 call.
Valero's handlers have to be always at the ready and it looks like they are in midseason form in the Venezuelan's lastest burst of negative publicity.
As you likely know, Valero's lovely wife, mother of their two 
children, is in a Los Andes hospital being treated for a collapsed lung and multiple bruises.On with Valero's myriad excuses:
1.His wife fell down the stairs, a household accident
2.Actually, she slipped on a roller skate on the stairs
3.Did we mention her other foot made contact with a banana peel on the way down?
4.(DUI arrest, Las Vegas) Edwin wasn't drunk, the car was intoxicated
5.Did we mention this was after the Manny Pacquiao-Ricky Hatton bout and Edwin had bet a bundle that Ricky would make it into round three?
6.(Weapon arrest) The gun wasn't loaded, only Valero was
7.Edwin thought it was a kid's toe, a cap pistol, a water gun, something like that
8.(Charges of abusing mother, sister, later dropped) Edwin was short on sparring partners, thought mom and sis might tune him up
9.(For all) Edwin is highly upset that Pacquiao is filthy rich (not to be confused with that sketchy Mayweather rap label) and he is not
10.(For all his peccadilloes) Whaddya want, Edwin has bain damage, I mean brain damage, from that motorycle accident years ago
I hate to be skeptical but does anyone think the wife will press charges?
I didn't think so.
I really can't comprehend why we wouldn't immediately admit such an outstanding citizen of Venezuela any of border entry points.
Valero better bring the whole entourage, including the everyready apologists along with him.
Remember, their motto:
Nothing is ever, ever Edwin's fault.
Got it?
(mlcmarley@aol.com)
Source: examiner.com
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